I'm Glad I Did It
by kool-aidrocks2008
Summary: Faith gets totally drunk one night and this is the aftermath.... rating mostly for language
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everybody! So me and a friend of mine, Fangs thank you buddy, were talkin. She came up with this idea and I loved it! I can only hope I do this justice. **

**Disclaimer: y'all know me. I don't own them because if I did half of the crap that happened woulda went differently. **

**Summary: AU. Faith is out one night and gets totally wasted. Here's what happens next...**

Faith pov.

Dammit! Grr! Giles makes me so friggin sick! He's all 'Faith, you know your not allowed to cook after the last time.' and I'm all 'Like you've never burnt water.' I tell ya I was insulted. Which brings me to now. Sittin in the double meat palace attemptin to eat one'a these nasty ass burgers. Ugh.

"B, tell me they didn't let you back on the grill." I say. She glares at me.

"That'll be 5.33 ma'am." she says. I give her a look.

"You expect me to pay for road kill?" I ask. She growls and grabs my collar. Where's the damn manager and security when I need protection?!

"Pay for the gotdamn food and go the hell away." she growls. My eyes widen.

"Damn B, no need to be all she-ra on me now." I say handin her a 10. "Hold my change for me?" I ask her. She just nods an' I move over to a table.

"Uh hell no. Get the hell outta here." she says walkin behind me.

"Bu-"

"Get!" she says. Well damn. Make me feel loved why don't ya. So I decide to walk around. The smell of my food is drivin me crazy. So I sit down on a bench and take a bite out and wish I hadn't.

"Ugh! Gross!" I say tossing the burger away. A dog comes and starts sniffin it. Yeah fido, sniff all ya want but bet ya wont eat it. He bites into it but spits it right back out.

"Look lady, next time ya throw some foods away, make sure its edible why dontchas." the dog says. My eyes dart back and forth.

"Did you just say somethin?" I ask. The dog nods. Freaky shit here.

"Yeah, and anodda thing, you tell ya human males to stop pissin in the bushes. We dogs sleep there." he says before walkin away. ok. I'm going to the bronze. That will take my mind off the fact a dog just spoke to me.

I walk in and I'm not surprised to see its packed. I make my way to the bar.

"Let me get a bottle of JD." I say to the bar tender. Who is Xander.

"Tough night Faith?" he asks.

"You have no idea. A dog just spoke to me." he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"This one's on me." he says. I nod and turn it up.

Four bottles and two hours of dancin later I spot somebody to take home for the night. She's cute. Blond hair, nice body, just my type. Although, she looks a little familiar. Oh well.

"Hey baby." I say into her ear. She turns and smiles.

"Hello." she says cheerily.

"Why don't we get outta here and have some fun." I say.

"Why would I leave with you? I don't even know your name and you don't know mine. Leaving with strangers can be v-" I cut her off.

"I'm Faith." I say. "See there we aren't strangers anymore." I say. She smiles and tells me her name but I'm too busy staring at her boobs. "Uh huh, so what do ya say?" I ask. She smiles.

"Yes. Lets go and have sex." she says. I like this girl.

We're outside my apartment door right now and my hands are wondering over her body. I'm kissing her like my life depends on it. I cup her boob roughly and kiss her neck.

"Aren't we going to go inside?" she asks breathlessly. I nod.

"Mmhmm." I say. I hope Oz doesn't come home tonight. Nah, he'll be spendin time with his girl. I finally pull back enough to kiss her hard and fumble for my keys. Now she's kissing my neck. I groan and finally get the door open and she doesn't waste time pushing me in. we start ravishing each other. Like clothes and shit flyin everywhere.

"Ow! Shit fuck motherfuckin! Ow!" I exclaim trippin over an amp. Wonder if that's mine or his. Who the fuck cares. Obviously this chick don't cus she's workin on the button to my leathers. She finally gets em undone and drops down in front of me. Damn she's sexy. She pushes me back and I thought I was gonna hit a wall but I landed on the bed instead. She yanks my shoes and pants off followed by her own. She straddles my lap and starts kissin my neck. This is movin too slow. So I flip us over and take this up a notch. I nudge her legs apart and settle between them.

"You done this before?" I ask. I don't know why cus I don't really give two shits.

"Yeah." she says reachin between us. I shudder when I feel her wetness mingling with mine. I strike up a rhythm and that's the last thing I remember. Well that and shit this feels good.

I musta passed out or something cus I never woulda let her stay. Well maybe this is a good thing cus now I'll know who this is. I turn in the arms of the person holdi- shit!

"Aaaahhhhh!" I scream wakin her up. She wakes up and screams too.

"Ahhh!" she screams. Shit my ears.

"Faith?!" "Anya?!" "What the hell?!" we ask at the sametime. We look under the cover and then at each other. And I can tell she has the same thought as I do.

"I'm never drinkin again."


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm not too sure how to write Anya so bare with me peeps...**

Anya pov.

I wonder how we can bring in more money to the magic shop. These people are in here walking around but they aren't buying anything.

"If you touch it you buy it." I tell them. They give me this weird look that I don't understand.

"Anya, would you please not hassle the customers?" Giles asks.

"But they're standing around running their dirty little hands all over our sell able merchandise. We should charge." I tell him. It seems perfectly logical. He's about to say something but stops to scold Buffy.

"Buffy don't you dare wake her!" he says referring to Faith. Faith the mysterious slayer. The same Faith I slept with a while ago. Not to long though. But long enough. I swear those were the most intense orgasms of my life. The way she put her tongue inside me and swi-

"Hello you've reached the Magic shop. Come spend your money." I answer and Giles rolls his eyes. What's his problem?

'May I speak with Ms. Anya Jenkins?' the lady on the other end asks.

"Speaking." I reply.

'Well Ms. Jenkins, our records show that you recently came in for a physical exam.' Giles said I needed one. I knew I was perfectly healthy.

"Yes what about it?" but it was incredibly pricey.

'Well I wanted to congratulate you on your pregnancy." she said. Oh that won-

"Excuse me?" I ask.

"You're pregnant Ms. Jenkins, about 7 weeks. So again congratulations to you and the father.' she says before hanging up. I may not be mortal but I'm sure that I can't be pregnant. Faith is the only person I've had sex with in the past eight months. No orgasms has made me bitchy I must admit though. I call back.

"Yes this is Anya Jenkins may I speak with doctor Williams please?" I ask. The nurse tells me to hold and puts me through.

'hello?' she answers.

"Doctor there was a mistake with the tests you performed." I tell her.

'Ms. Jenkins correct?' she asks

"Correct." I say.

'well ma'am seeing as how you told the nurse you hadn't had any sexual intercourse with a man within an eight month time frame, we triple checked but you are pregnant.' she says. 'maybe its your miracle baby.' she says.

"Thank you doctor. I must go share the good news with my friends." I say before hanging up. Good news my ass. This is going to cost me! I look at Faith. Its her fault. I calmly walk from behind the register and over to Faith. I stare at her sleeping form for a moment before grabbing a book and frowning her with it.

"I built a school down the street for titties!" she says standing up quickly. That drew the attention of everyone in the shop now she seems embarrassed. Things between us were already uncomfortable, now its worse.

"What the hell?! You slapped me you fucking she-demon!" she yells. I nod

"You're damn right. You got me pregnant and you're going to pay for it!" I say. Every body gasps.

"Faith, I heard you had mad skills but...damn." Xander says. Faith and I both glare at him.

"Look here he-man jr, I don't know what you're playin at but I couldn't'a got ya knocked up. I'm missin the valuable body part." she says.

"Well it has to be yours, you're the only one I've slept with recently." I say.

"You slept with Anya?" Buffy asks.

"Yes, yes she did. She gave me very intense orgasms too. Why?" I ask stepping closer. I don't know why I'm so defensive. Faith and I aren't together.

"Because, I mean, she couldn't be sad?! We only broke up three months ago!" she yells.

"Five." Faith says matter-of-factly.

"What?" Buffy asks.

"Five months ago. My birthday was when we broke up. Its may now." she says. Buffy thinks.

"Oh, right. Oh well." she says.

"You broke up with Faith on her birthday?" I ask. That seems so disrespectful.

"Yes." she answers like its no big deal.

"That's so very rude. Buffy I always new you were a bitch bu-" Faith cuts me off.

"Back to the issue at hand! I can't get you pregnant!" she yells.

"Actually Faith, its quite common, in the past is has been shown that slayers and demons can procreate no matter the gender." he says. I nod.

"Right. Now, give me money to pay for doctor visits." Faith just looks at me then to Giles and faints.

"I hope she wakes up soon. I'll need money to shop for clothes." I say.

Faith pov.

Its not my baby. Its not my baby. Its not my b-

"What the hell are you laughin at dog-boy?" I ask Oz. I love this dude like a brother and I'm the only one he shows expressions around, but he's gonna die.

"You're gonna have a Faith junior in a few months." he says before bursting out laughin. There's a knock on our door and he goes back to the blank oz we all know and love.

"Loo- Tara, whaddya doin here?" I ask as the blond smiles shyly at me.

"Anya and I are here t-to do a spell to prove y-your the father." she says blushing.

"Good! I wanna prove that I didn't do this!" I say pullin her in. "Wheres the evil animal?" I ask. Turning to face her. As soon as I turn back to the door there's a hand connecting with my cheek.

"Japan!" I yell out. Then I notice Anya slapped me. Again. "Look bionic demon i-" she cuts me off.

"Shut up. This is your fault. Had you kept your bodily fluids to yourself we wouldn't be standing here. And who is bionic demon? I've heard of bionic wo-" I stop her.

"Lets do the spell." I say.

Twenty minutes later I'm bangin my head into the wall.

"Congrats?" oz tries. I glare at him and bang my head harder.

"Faith would you stop it? You may damage the wall and have to pay for repairs and if you're paying for repairs you can't pay me for the baby you put here. Are you listening to me Faith, this is going to be expensive and you don't have a job an-" she just keeps going and going and I just keep thinkin, no more sex for me. No more sex for me. none!


	3. Chapter 3

**Three months pregnant...**

Faith pov.

Aite so demon thing... I erm... I mean Anya, is three months pregnant and things are goin smooth. Like yesterday, we went to the doctor and he did an ultra sound thing. Alright, so that wasn't so good. Actually its was fucked up:

_me and Anya are the doctor's office so we could get everythin checked out._

"_Faith, how much is this costing you?" Anya asked for the fifth time in an hour. _

"_No more than my psychiatric bill." I muttered. _

"_How are you affording this? You still don't have a job, do you? Are you a stripper? Because if you are you'll have to find another job when the baby is born. Other babies can be cruel and jealous. Especially if our chi-" I cut her off._

"_My trust fund." I say with a shrug. Her brows furrow._

"_I didn't know you had a trust fund. I thought you had an academic scholarship." she said. I nodded. Don't look so surprised. I'm a hella smarter than I act. _

"_I do. Since college is pretty much paid for, I can use my trust fund money to survive. Now, instead'a me I'm worried about, I got three people." I tell her. She thinks._

"_Three? Who's this other person you're taking care of? Do I know her?" she asks soundin a lil' jealous. I shake my head. _

"_You, me and the baby." I say. _

"_Why would you take care of me?" she asks. She doesn't really understand this whole mortal thing completely. S'ok, I'll explain what I can to her if she wants._

"_Cus you're gonna have my baby." I say. _

"_But why take care of me? You should only be concerned about the baby." she says. I turn to her. _

"_Because you're carrying the baby. While you are, I gotta take care of you in order to make sure the baby is aite. Then when the baby is born, I gotta make sure you two are ok." I say. She looks at me like I'm crazy. _

"_But after the baby is born, you no longer have to worry about me. Just your child." she says. _

"_What makes you think that?" _

"_That's what my father did. After I was born, he stopped taking care of my mother and just worried about me. He didn't want anything to do with her only to visit me. My step father was doing all the fatherly things." she says. Damn._

"_I'm not like that. We'll like be connected forever cus'a the baby. I wanna take care'a ya even after the baby is off to college or whatever he or she decides to do. It feels right." I say. Even though its a little deeper. Ya see thing is, I like her. Not just wanna fuck her like her, no seriously like her. But I'm not gonna go for it cus if I tell her she might want a relationship and I don't know how to have one. So I'm just gonna sit back and take care of her._

"_Thank you." she says after a few minutes. I nod._

"_No problem." I tell her. She looks like she wants to say something but changes her mind. _

"_Ms Jenkins? ms. Lehane?" the doctor called. We looked up and I could see the fear in her eyes. I've never seen her afraid. Made me feel all weird and shit._

"_Hey, don't worry bout it. I gotcha back." I say to her. She nods and we make our way into the room. The doc puts some kinda weird lookin shit on her stomach and she sucks in breath real quick. Outta instinct I reach out an' grab her hand. She just smiles at me a little. We hear the heartbeat and I'm amazed. Then the doc made some kinda hmm'in noise. _

"_What?" I ask sorta panickin soundin._

"_Seems we have two exact heartbeats." he says. My eyes widen. Then I listen closely. Shit! She's gonna have fuckin twins!_

"_Two? What do you mean two?" Anya asks. She seems confused. "I could have sworn humans only have one heartbeat." she says. I look at her._

"_Anya, sweetie, we're gonna have twins." I say smilin at her. Then I look at her face._

"_Twins? As in two babies at once? Faith, we're having twins." she says. But it aint happy. I look at her and gulp when I see somethin flash in her eyes._

"_Hey...uh..doc?" I call. He looks at me._

"_Yes ma'am I'm sure. I get that question every time a couple is having twins" he says. I gulp again lookin at she demon over here. _

"_C-c-cool." I stutter. Why the fuck am I scared of her?! I'm a fuckin slayer! I can take her! "Could you uh...could you give her the meds or whatever? I gotta get to um...work." I say and run._

"_Faith?! Get the fuck back here!" she calls. But I continue runnin. I run to the magic shop right behind B._

"_Hide me hide me hide me!" I yell. She looks completely lost. _

"_What? Why?" she asks lookin confused. Then Anya bursts in the front door and the bell flies straight off. _

"_Faith!" she yells. I shrink behind B._

"_Don't feed the bears." I whisper. _

"_Do- what are you talking about?" she asks. I point to Anya. "Yikes." she says. And she moves._

"_B?! the fuck?!" I ask. She shakes her head._

"_I'm not protecting you from that." she says pointin to Anya._

"_But I'm you're best friend!" I yell. She shakes her head._

"_Ya know, I just recently gave willow that title so...yeah." she says runnin. I look at Anya who's stalkin towards me. _

"_H-hey beautiful." I try. She starts breathin hard. _

"_Hey? Hey?! That's all you can say?! You get two of you're semi-demon seeds into me and you say hey?!" she says._

"_I-I'm so excited?" I try. She just screams. _

"_You...you...grr!" she says. And she stalks away. :_

but I mean, twins. Can ya fuckin believe it? I'm gonna be a mom of two! Fuckin right! Its time to get outta bed even though I don't have school today. Me and Ozzy boy are hangin today. I stretch and make my way to the kitchen.

"Hey Faith, would you thr-" he stops and stares at me. I stare back.

"What?!" I ask after thirty seconds of starin. Then he bursts out laughin at me. Why the fuck is he laughin at me?! "The hell are you laughin at?!" I ask. He just keeps on laughin.

"Ch—hahahaha- chimp!" he says. What the fuck? I run to the bathroom and I can't see over the bathroom counter. So I run to my bedroom and look in my body mirror. What the fuck?!

"I'm a fucking-" I start and oz finishes.

"Talking chimp!" he says.


	4. Chapter 4

**The same day...**

Faith pov.

I'm a t-t-talkin chimp! What the fuck?! This is bullshit! Oz looks down at me still laughin.

"You think this is funny Fido?!" I ask. He hates it when I call him by typical dog names but hey! He's laughin at me!

"Hell yeah! Dude, I'm so callin dad about this." he says. Yeah he's my big brother. Sorta. Anyway.

"No no you're not." I say. He nods.

"Oh yeah I am." he laughs out. I shoot him a glare and he quiets down. "C'mon, we gotta get to the magic shop to find out what happened to you." he says. Walking towards me.

"W-what are you doin?" I ask. He smirks. "No. n-n-n-no...you...you can't do that to me!" I say.

Twenty five minutes later we're walking into the magic shop and the first person to see us is Giles.

"Oz, I told you before, we cannot get a group pet. Where ever you got her from take her back." he says. Oz pouts.

"But Giles, she's so cute." he says. "Buffy? Don't you think she's cute?" he asks as B comes out from the back.

"Aww! Yes she is. She's so cute in her little pink outfit. That little pink dress and bonnet and diaper! She's so adorable! Can't we keep her Giles?" she asks pullin out that B pout. Yes, oz put me in a pink dress and bonnet and diaper. I'm going to beat him with a solid silver bat when this is all over.

"No we may not Buffy. Now, where is Faith?" Giles asks.

"I'm right here." I mutter.

"Where?" Giles asks looking around and Oz is tryin not to laugh.

"Down here." I say. He looks down and at me in all my chimp gloriness. "Hey G-man. How's it hangin?" I ask casually. Everythin goes quiet before B bursts out laughin.

"Oh my god! Faith?! What the hell?! Why are you a monkey?!" she asks.

"Not a monkey!" I yell. Oz nods.

"That's right. She's the cutest little chimp you will ever see." he says seriously. I shoot him the finger.

"I don't give a damn! She's a pr--primate!" Buffy laughs out. I hate her right now. I causally walk over to her with a book in hand and slap her hard with it. She keeps laughin before stoppin suddenly and hittin the floor.

"Aww! Giles let us get a monkey?! She's so cute!" Red exclaims walking towards me. I pick up a knife and have it hoisted into the air ready for launch when I feel the weight change. I look up and see Oz has replaced my knife with a...banana. That. Little. Fucker.

"I hate you." I say to him glaring. He just pinches my cheek.

"I wuv you too!" he exclaims. Nobody is takin not to the fact that he's showin a great deal of emotion today.

"Did the little chimp just talk?" Xan-man asks. Oz nods back to his expressionless self.

"Totally." he says with a slight nod. This kid trips me the fuck out! It amazes me how he can go from regular, emotion havin guy to blank and expressionless with in a second. Says he picked it up from me as a kid. Dunno what he's talkin about.

"X-ray, could you uh...move Buffy? She's in the way." I ask. Xander's eyes damn near jump out of his head.

"Faith?!" he exclaims. I look at him.

"I aint deaf yunno." I say. He just gapes at me before I hear Red laughin. That's right. Everybody laugh at the chimp. "It's not funny." I say climbing into a seat. Then Anya comes in and this shit makes a whole lotta sense.

"Anya?! Did you turn me into a damn chimp because if you did I'm gonna...i'm gonna...hurt ya!" I exclaim walkin over to her. She looks down and doesn't say anythin.

"Serves you right. Impregnating me with you're little slayer hell spawns. I'll have you know that having twins wasn't in my ten year plan. Even though I have no idea what a ten year plan is. And why do the-" I cut her off.

"Can you change me back?" I ask. She shrugs.

"It'll wear off." she says. I breath a sigh of relief.

"Wicked. How long?" I ask.

"A week. Two weeks tops." she says smiling before goin over to the register. I smile then think about it.

"What?!" I exclaim. Shit. This is gonna be hell. I look up when I hear still unconscious B mumble.

"Monkey Faith." she mutters.

**Three weeks later...**

Faith pov.

A week. Two tops. Can she fuckin count?! Obviously not cus it has been three weeks and I'm just changin back to normal. Fuckin demon.

"Faith hurry up. We have an appointment to see how the babies are doing." she says. She's been feelin bad lately so we're gonna make sure my kids are ok. Also she's moved in. I'd be liein if I said I wasn't enjoyin this. I like havin her around. She's somethin I need. She says what she's thinkin when she's thinkin it and doesn't tell me shit cus she thinks it'll keep me happy. That's somethin I've always liked in a girl. Maybe that's why it was so hard for me to find a girlfriend before. Not too many girls around here that say what they mean. They always wanna sugar coat shit. But not this crazy cow... I mean Anya.

"Alright alright." I say comin outta our bedroom. Shouldn't I feel weird that I trust her so much? Should it bother me that she's a big part of my everyday life? Yeah it should. Cus there's a chance she don't like...have feelins for me. But if she doesn't that'd be ok. I could like move on and shit. But it'd hurt. Weird feelin when somebody can make ya smile just by breathin. 'course I haven't said none'a this shit to her. Don't wanna freak her. We arrive at the doctor's office with out speakin much.

"Faith?" she calls me. I look to her.

"Huh?" I ask. She takes a deep breath.

"I apologize for having you turned into a chimp." she says. And it don't really bother me much that she did it. Only thing is the side effects

"Don't sweat it demon girl. S'all good, past is the past an' all that." I say with a shrug. She smiles at me.

"Thank you." she says. I nod cus I know what she's talkin bout. I've been lookin out for her big time. Bodyguards and all that good shit. Don't wanna risk nothin happenin to her or the babies. Although I can't really say Spike and his friends are trustworthy sources but hey. They help.

"Ms. Jenkins, ms. Lehane." the nurse calls us back. We make our way back and the doctor does his job.

"Well ladies, it looks like you're babies are fine and healthy." he says. Don't do it Faith. Don't. Do. it. I tell myself.

"Alright thanks doc." I say. I wanna hurry the hell up and get outta here. Anya looks at me then back to the doctor and starts askin him questions. I'm not listenin cus I'm too busy tryina keep myself still. Before I know it I'm over standin behind the doctor's chair pickin around in his hair lookin for bugs. What? Don't look at me like that. I was a chimp for three weeks! After we've left the office with Anya firmly scolding me for makin the Doc uncomfortable I'm driftin in and outta the conversation. Finally we're outside'a B's house, don't know why but Anya's had a thing against her lately, and I'm hoppin up into a tree hangin upside down.

"Hey An! Bring me a banana?" I ask and she nods. Yeah, spendin almost a month as a chimp has it downs.

Aite so maybe not as funny as you'd like but here's an update. Also a quick note, Oz and Faith are related. You'll find out how in a later chapter. Now, review and I'll update another story!


	5. Chapter 5

No pov.

It was a lovely day in the small town of sunnydale California. Birds chirping, couples walking, dogs barking, and a Faith running into the magic shop crashing into Buffy.

"Save me dammit!" she exclaimed jumping behind Buffy for protection.

"From what?" the blond asked her dark haired friend.

"From Anya! What else would I be running from?!" she exclaimed just as Anya burst through the door.

"Faith!!" Anya yelled at the top of her lungs. Faith shrank away from the blonds wrath.

"Who?" Faith asked. Anya gave her a look and Faith started to reach behind her for Buffy but the blond was on the other side of the magic shop. "I hate you." Faith said as Buffy smiled. Anya started to walk closer and closer to Faith. She backed away feeling it was the only safe thing to do.

"C'mere sweetie." Anya said in a sickly sweet voice. But oh no, Faith was no idiot. She knew better to go to a crazy pregnant woman.

"Nah I'm good. You can ya know...tell me from there." she said still backing away. Anya just smiled.

"No Faith. I want to hug you so I need you to step closer." she said. Faith refused. She was afraid to be around a hormonal vengeance demon. Let alone a pregnant hormonal vengeance demon. So she settled for running. But Anya was faster. No one is sure how exactly. She cut Faith off and Faith proceeded to grab a chair. She holds it up in front of her for protection.

"Back simba! Back!" she said still holding up the chair in front of Anya. Anya stopped her advances and Buffy decided to be useful.

"Aww Anya, I can see the little baby bump! It's so cute!" she exclaimed. Well, we thought she was going to be useful.

"Buffy why do you hate me?!" Faith asked wide eyed. Buffy looked at her innocently not knowing what she did wrong until she heard Anya sniffle.

"I'm getting fat!" Anya cried. Faith cringed and Buffy looked like she wanted to hid under a rock. Giles looked as if he wanted to beat Buffy with a rock.

"No An, you're not getting fat. You're beautiful. You and the baby bump." Buffy tried and Anya cried harder. Faith threw a random object at Buffy's head and hit Xander accidentally.

"You're only saying that because you're afraid of me!" Anya wailed. Faith sighed.

"Anya, you're not fat. You're pregnant and beautiful, and healthy and you look better than Buffy even with wild bed hair." she told the crying blond grabbing her and leading her away from the group.

"Hey!" Buffy exclaimed realizing what Faith said.

"Shhhut the hell up." Faith said with a finger to her lips.

"Really?" Anya asked sniffling. Faith looked surprised she'd even ask.

"Hell yeah! I mean come on, it's natural, you're 'spose to get bigger so the baby can be healthy. And you got this glow about you, makes ya even more beautiful than anythin." she says walking to the back room without realizing it.

"So you're saying I wasn't beautiful when I wasn't pregnant?" Anya asked curiously.

"No, I'm sayin that it's just addin to it." Faith said. Then she looked around with wide darting eyes realizing where she was. 'oh shit.' she thought when she heard Anya close the training room door. All that could be heard was Anya calling to Faith and Faith's screams of protest.

"No! I can't take anymore! It's too much! I haven't been to sleep in days!" she yelled. Then Anya kissed her. The group heard Faith's one last attempt.. "Back you she-demon!" followed by moans and neither girl was seen for another few hours.

Four hours later...

Faith staggers out of the training room looking thoroughly exhausted. Her shirt was buttoned crookedly and her pants we're still undone with her belt hanging loosely from her shoulders. Anya followed close behind her with a satisfied smile on her face. The woman looked as if she were floating.

"Hello Buffy." she said with a dreamy smile. Buffy smiles back and Dawn and Oz entire the shop.

"What's with the smile?" Dawn asks Anya. She smiles at Dawn.

"Hello dear child...Faith gave me many many many very enjoyable very intense oh so unforgettable orgasms." she says with a happy sigh. Everyone looks at her then to Faith who seems to be having wardrobe troubles. Oz shakes his head going to help his sister. He swats her hands away and fixes her shirt and pants. She smiles and leans on him falling asleep standing up. He looks at her with a small smile before moving and letting her drop to the floor.

"78!" Faith yells standing up quickly wiping the drool from her mouth. Oz rolls his eyes and sits down.

"Anya I would like to speak with you about what you're going to do about this baby." Giles says.

"What do you mean?" she asks. "And its babies. Plural. Thanks to miss doesn't keep fluids to herself, I'm having twins." Anya says with a frown at Faith.

"Well, as you are aware, having one baby is expensive, surely you must know that having twins will be brutal. And seeing as how you don't have any kind of degree or anything, and his job doesn't pay much as it is, I'm not sure how you'll fair." Giles explains to the young vengeance demon.

"Faith is helping. Using her trust fund money." she says as if that explained it all.

"While that is a wonderful idea, that money will not last forever. What are you to do when it runs out. You won't be able to make nearly enough money seeing as how you can't work full time any longer for you'll need to take care of the babies." he says gently. Anya seems to contemplate this.

"What else can I do? We can figure something out, right?" she asks Faith who nods.

"Yeah, I'll get a job." she says. Giles nods smiling at the young girl's determination to provide.

"I respect you for that decision Faith, but you are a full time college student and even working part time, the two of you won't have nearly enough. You still have two years before you get your degree in accounting." he says. She slumps.

"What else is there Giles?" she asks.

"You could always consider adoption." he says. Something about Faith changes.

"No." she says. He sighs.

"I understand not wanting to give up your children but it might be what's best, you are still a child yourself." he says. She shakes her head.

"Nuh uh." she says.

"Fait-" he starts only to be cut off.

"No! I'm not giving my kids away to strangers!" she says.

"Why are you so against it?" the old watcher asks.

"Why are you so for it?" she retorts. He sighs.

"Because it may be what's best for those involved." he says. She shakes her head quickly.

"Nah, Anya if you wanna give them up, tell me now that way I can have the papers ready and you just sign custody over to me. I'll take care of them myself if I gotta but I'm not givin them away." she says. Everyone is silent. She sighs. "I'm goin for a walk." she says.

"Want company?" Buffy asks. Faith shakes her head.

"No." and she's gone. Oz looks up and decides to speak for the first time.

"Ever since she found out she's adopted, she's been against it. Cus sometimes the parents don't even tell their kids they're adopted and its almost like trying to hide a part of who they are and where they come from. My parents wouldn't have told us if Faith hadn't needed that blood transfusion last year. When she found out, she said that if she ever was in a situation where she was having a kid, she'd do whatever to turn her life around so she could keep her child. Even though she knows not all adoptive parents keep it a secret, she doesn't want to take the chance of not knowing them and them not knowing she exists." he says. This was the most they had ever heard him say.

"I was unaware Faith was adopted." Giles says removing his glasses pinching the bridge of is nose.

"Neither were we." oz says. "She gets it. What you're saying. But she doesn't agree. Give her time. She'll figure things out her way." oz says confident his sister would come around to Giles' idea.

"I hope so." Giles says.

"Someone get me ice cream and anchovies." Anya says out of nowhere. They all stared at her in silence. Oh yes, it was a lovely day indeed. If you can call it that.

Alright, sorry about the lack of funny but hey, every story needs some serious. review!


	6. Chapter 6

So alright, it's been a long minute since I updated so here ya go! Review? They make me feel better

Faith pov.

Can you believe G-man even suggested that shit?! He's gotta be outta his fuckin mind if he thinks I'm gonna give my babies up. Never... I want to know them. I want them to know me.

"Faith?" I hear. I sigh.

"Not now B." I say. I hear her climbin then she comes into view. "Or maybe now's a great time." I mutter. She sits beside me in a bean bag chair.

"I miss this place." she says lookin around our perfectly intact tree house. I nod.

"It's been a minute huh?" I say. She nods.

"Been a minute since we've just hung out too. Just us." she says droppin a hint.

"Since before we broke up." I say with a small smile.

"What were we thinking anyway? I mean we're practically sisters. I've known you since I was seven for crying out loud!" she says. I chuckle and shrug.

"Everybody expected us. Remember how happy our mom's were when we told them we were together?" I ask rememberin our mom's plannin our weddin.

"Yeah." she says. We sit in silence for a moment. "I support you. Whatever you decide. I support you." she says. I nod.

"Thanks B." I say. She nods.

"Anya's worried about you, y'know." she says. I look at her shocked.

"Really? Why?" I ask. She rolls her eyes.

"As your best friend I feel I should tell you...you're an idiot." she says. My brows furrow. "Faith...she feels the same way." she says.

"Who feels what way?" I ask. She sighs one of those, 'why do I associate myself with this idiot' sighs.

"Anya feels the same way you do." she says. I tilt my head slightly.

"Really? She wants to keep the kids?" I ask happily. She looks at me a moment before smiling.

"I don't know." she says. I frown.

"Then what the hell are ya talkin bout. Ya know I don't speak Buffy." I say. She shrugs.

"Go down there and talk to her yourself." she says. My eyes widen.

"You brought her to the Faith cave?!" I ask. She nods with a wince.

"Sorry." she mutters. I sigh.

"She woulda seen it eventually but remember. This location stays hidden." I say. She nods and we make our way down the ladder. I notice Anya and she sorta...growls at B.

"What took you so long to talk to Faith. All you had to do is say words but you took so long I thought you were giving her orgasms. Wait, were you giving her orgasms?" Anya asks. I give her a horrified look.

"Ugh! No! We were just talking." I say feeling the need to defend myself. She gives B a look but nods.

"Alright Buffy. Go away now, your services are no longer needed." she says with a smile. I almost chuckle at B's insulted look.

"Alright." she says walking away. Anya turns to me and studies me for a moment.

"Faith, I want to keep these babies." she says. I can't help but smile.

"Yeah?" I ask making sure I heard her right. She nods firmly.

"Yes. We could raise them together." she says. I like her reasoning. I kneel down so I'm level with her stomach.

"Hear that guys? We're gonna raise ya up real good and we're gonna love ya no matter what." I say kissing her stomach. I freeze and she just stares down at me.

"Why did you do that?" she inquires. I stand up shufflin my feet a little.

"Uh... I uh...sorry it was instinct. Wanted to let the kids know I meant it." I say. She seems even more confused.

"But how can they hear you?" she asks. I'm about to answer but I stop.

"I dunno." I say with a shrug. She makes a hmm noise then fixes me with a weird look.

"Do you like me as more than an orgasm buddy?" she asks straight out. I start to shift my weight from one foot to the other and my eyes dart around.

"No?" I try. She tilts her head again.

"You remind me of mortal males. They always lie for no reason. You can't even look me in the eye right now. You know there was this one time-" I cut her off right then.

"Whoa wait. No tellin the kids any 'back when I was a little demon' stories." I say. She crosses her arms like a child.

"Why not?" she asks. I give her a look like really.

"Cus they're babies and most of your stories scare _me._" I say. She huffs and crosses her arms again.

"Whatever." she says walking away and of course I follow her. "We should become orgasm buddies." she says. I stop walking.

"We already have sex a lot." I say. She rolls her eyes.

"We should become more. Like Willow and Tara. We could be lesbian lovers." she says with a smile. This chick has a way with words.

"We can't just go into a relationship like that." I say. She stops walking and fixes me with a stare that'd make Buffy shrink away.

"Is it because I'm fat?" she asks with tears in her eyes.

"No! No of course not. It's just, I've never thought it was right to be in a relationship just cos you got kids together. Hurts everybody in the long run." I say thinkin bout me and Oz parents. They never really loved each other but they stayed together cus of me and Oz.

"That's not why I want to be with you." she says. I give her a curious look.

"So ya wanna be with me?" she nods. "Why?" I ask. She grabs my arm and starts to walk again.

"Because you are very attractive. And I like you. You're a good person." she says. I blush a little. Wait...whoa. I...blushed. "And you'll get me food when I tell you to." she says. I nod. Well yeah, she's scary when she's hungry. We make our way to the magic shop and everybody looks up. Buffy smiles at me slightly but I think Anya notices.

"Why are you smiling at Faith that way? She can't be your orgasm buddy because she's mine. You had your chance now it's to late." she says pulling me closer to her. Buffy looks at me then Anya and shakes her head.

"Anya, I don't want to be with Faith. She's just a friend." B says.

"Good. That's the way it's going to stay." Anya says with nod of her head.

"We wouldn't want it any other way." B says and Anya actually smiles. Giles clears his throat and Anya turns to him.

"Shut up. Don't say anything that may possibly upset Faith. If you do, I'll castrate you using nothing more than a teddy bear." she says to him. He goes pale and my eyes just widen but I don't say anything. "Now Faith, lets go have orgasms." she says yanking me out the door.

"What the hell are you taking?" I ask once we're outside.

"Nothing. What are you talking about?" she asks with a confused look.

"You're always so fuckin horny! Even I don't have that much energy." I say. She smiles evilly.

"We'll just have to work on that." I gulp. Uh oh.

Review review review!! not many chapters left maybe only one or two!! review!! the next chapter will hopefully be funnier though


	7. Chapter 7

Faith pov.

Hot damn I do love a girl with stamina! Woo I'm tellin ya demon chick? She got some moves. I thought I had mad skills no. This girl got madder than mad skills yo! Like the way she swirls her to-

"Faith maybe we should buy them a pet." Anya says from right beside me. I look over at her then at Buffy.

"Uh... Anya, maybe pets aren't the best course of action." B says. My lip quivers.

"Yeah, maybe you should focus on something like...a car." oz tries. I sniffle.

"Why? Most mortal children have pets growing up. Maybe we should get ours something simple...like a gold fish." she says with a happy nod. I start to all out bawl. She would bring up bad memories. That bitch! "What'd I say?" she asks. I run straight to Buffy's arms cus she's already got em open.

"Nothin you could have known Anya, Faith's just emotional." B says. I make some kinda intelligible sound in my throat...hell even I can't translate that.

"But why is Faith emotional? Are you pregnant as well? If you are we need to discuss how we are going to pay for more babies." she says. I just bawl louder.

Buffy pov.

Great. Anya would bring up pets. And poor Faith is just crying her little heart out. Almost makes me wanna tear up. I said almost.

"God, what is that?! Shut it up!" Xander says coming in covering his ears. I glare at him and he turns to see its Faith. "Alright! Who did it?!" he asks looking accusingly at Anya. "What'd you do to her?" he asks. I step in quickly.

"Nothin she's just emotional." I say soothing my best friend who tries to speak but it sounds more like howling. "I know sweetie." I comfort. Yes I do understand her. We have been friends for like a billion years ya know.

"All I did was suggest that we get our children a pet. I had no idea it was such a crime." Anya says still unaware of what she's getting herself into. And Faith gets louder.

"Will you shut her up?" I ask oz motioning towards Anya. She is REALLY not helping. Oz grabs some duct tape and gets ready to put it over Anya's mouth when Xander speaks up.

"Wait is this about Renee?" he asks. Damn him. damn him to hell!

"Xander shut your face!" I hiss. Faith stops crying long enough to hiccup. I don't let her go though. As a best friend it is my duty to make sure she doesn't kill him and end up in jail for murder. He needs to wait until there are no witnesses.

"It's just a simple question." he says holdin his hands up.

"Who's Renee? Is she another orgasm buddy of yours Faith? Do I need to harm her?" Anya asks. Faith sighs.

"No, when I was younger I had a pet." Faith starts. More like another best friend. She loved that thing more than me! But that's alright. "A goldfish." she says tearing up. "The first thing I bought with my own money. She was the best. I named her Renee cus it was the name of the pet store lady that sold her to me." Faith says fondly remembering her 'beloved gold fish Renee'.

"So what's the problem? You know what it's like to have a goldfish." Anya says. This is the part that got Faith sent to counseling for about a month straight before it was proven that she wasn't crazy.

"She died." faith says. "About 5 months after I got her." she adds. Anya looks sorry now. Wow, I've never seen that look.

"I'm sorry to hear about your goldfish. How did she die?" Anya asks.

"She drowned!" Faith wails. I bury my head in her shoulder, like I do Every time she's forced to tell this story. It's a very difficult thing for her to do. She never really got past it. I look up and see Anya and Giles, he didn't know, blinking.

"Good lord! Did you just say y-your goldfish drowned?!" he asks incredulously. I step to her defense.

"Yeah she did! Little fishy was just-a floatin round one day then all of a sudden she's like...gasping for ...air...and then she dies." I say. Then I cringe when Faith angrily wipes her tears and glares at me.

"Did you have to be so insensitive B?!"

"I'm sorry Faith it's just...Giles acted like he didn't believe you." I say. She sighs and nods. I always get outta trouble when I'm defending her. Hehe.

"Uh Faith?" Anya speaks after a few minutes. Faith turns to her.

"Huh?" Faith answers.

"That's...the saddest story I've ever heard! We wont get pets...until you're ready." a pregnant Anya is so understanding and caring...wow, she's human. And now she's crying. And Faith's crying. And they're kissing. And oh my g-

"Get a room! an-- and that's illegal in some states!" I say but can't help but stare at some of the things rapidly unfolding in front of me. Whoa. That looks like it feels really really good.

**Six months pregnant...**

Faith pov.

Aite so Anya is the... I dunno what to call her but she's good. And she's mine. Yeah. Mine. I'm possessive when it comes to folks I give a damn about. And I give two damns about her. I'm brushin my teeth getting ready to go out with my woman! Hell yeah! A date with my beautifully pregnant girlfriend.

"Faith?!" I hear. I turn and see oz makin his way into my bedroom.

"Yeah?"

"She's comin after me!" he says. I laugh.

"Just hide in the closet." I say. He nods and runs over to the closet. I go back to rinsin my mouth out and finishing touchin up my face. No make up. She said I look better without it and well, as honest as she is I took her word for it. No reason for her to lie. I step out of the bathroom and over by the closet. I knock and a light blue tank and pair of jeans comes out. I put the tank back and it's replaced by a black one. Perfect. I grab my jacket and make my way to the magic shop where I'm pickin her up from. We're goin to the movies. To see what? I still dunno. I get to the magic shop and she instantly smiles at me. She makes her way over to kiss me on the cheek.

"I was wondering if we could do something else today." she says. I nod.

"Sure babe, what's up?" I ask. She nods toward the table.

"Sit." she says. I have a sit down and she sits across from me.

"We need to think of baby names." she says. I nod happily cus we're deciding on unisex names since we don't know what we're havin.

"Alright... Adrian is my first choice." I say. She nods.

"Courtney." she says.

"I dunno..." I trail off. She frowns.

"What's wrong with the name Courtney?" she asks. I shrug.

"I dunno, just never been a fan." I say. She frowns again.

"Adrian can be a first name if Courtney can be the middle." she says. Adrian Courtney Lehane? I dunno. Wait.

"Whose last name?" I ask. She looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Well since the father's last name is usuall-"

"There is no father."

"Then we'll just use yours. Now Adrian Courtney Lehane, I think I like it." she says with a triumphant smile. I shake my head and sigh.

"Alright so we just need another first name and we're good." I say. She frowns at me...again.

"Doesn't the other one need a middle name?" she asks. I shrug.

"Not really, some people don't have middle names." I say. She frowns even deeper.

"I want them both to have a middle name." she says.

"But it don't really matter whether or not they have one as long as they have a first name." I say. She looks like she wants to burn me alive.

"Well my children will." she says.

"No OUR children wont. Just one will and the other wont need it, he/she will be too cool for middle names." I say and she pulls out the big guns. The tears and the lip and I sigh... "Fine, you pick the first name this time and I'll pick a middle." I say. She smiles triumphantly.

"I knew you'd see things my way." she says. I smile super fake.

"Evil bitch." I mutter.

"What?"

"I need a sandwich." I will never be the same again. I've gone soft!

Aite so here's what I'm doin. I'm gonna let y'all name the other one. Now remember, the name needs to be unisex cus we have no idea what we're havin so yeah, you guys get to name the second baby! Woooo! review!


	8. Chapter 8

Faith pov.

Three and a half weeks until D-day. Why am I callin it D-day? Cus B, like a good best friend, bought me some tapes of women givin birth and lemme tell ya...these are the last ones. I'm not ever havin anymore. Noway no how.

"Baby?" I hear. I glance over at Anya. I'm really lovin this chick. It's crazy.

"Yeah?" I answer back breathlessly. She's nibblin on my ear lobe.

"You're extremely sexy..." she whispers comin around to straddle my lap. We're in my room today just chillin out.

"So are you. I swear it." I say lookin into her eyes. She just smiles.

"And I love you." she says. I'm about to reply when she cuts me off. "Don't, just show me." she says. So I kiss her gently and pull her closer. She's been real into the whole sex thing lately. I'm not sure if she's just horny as hell or if its the hormones but I'm not really complainin. She moans softly when I put my hand up her shirt and rub her boobs. I start rubbin my fingers over her nipples when she pulls back. "You're moving too slow." she says before yanking her shirt and bra off followed by her skirt. I can't help but smile. I love a chick with a sex drive like mine! She starts to unbutton my pants but I stick one'a my hands where I know she wants...and obviously needs it the most. I smile when she hisses at my first touch.

"Somebody's wet." I mutter into her collarbone. I lick up her neck and stop at her ear while I start to rub circles over her clit. She's holding onto my shoulders tightly.

"S-shit..." she stutters. I smile and move my fingers closer to the point of no return. This is my favorite place in the world...for now. I enter her with two fingers and start to move them in and outta her slowly. "Fuck!" she cries out movin her hips. I start to pump a little harder, not much, don't wanna hurt her, then I feel somethin coat my hand.

"That was quick." I say but I keep goin like usual. But it don't stop. I look down and...

"They're comin!" we say at the same time. I remove my fingers from her and hop up.

"Ow!" she says. Shit!

"S-sorry baby. I uh...i'm gonna...uh...call...somebody!" I say. She starts getting up. I go to the phone out in the livin room. Ok, we practiced this...who am I supposed to call. Ah!

_Ring ring ring_

"Domino's pizza, may I take your order?" the guy asks.

"Hey Ben, I wanna order two large pizzas, a sprite a-"

"Faith I know you did NOT call domino's while I'm in LABOR!" I hear from the bedroom.

"Want your usual delivered to the hospital?" he asks panickin.

"Yeah thanks." I say hanging up. "No! I didn't!" I lie back to the bedroom.

"Fai-GAHHH!" I hear. My eyes widen a little.

_Ring ring ring_

"Hey F-"

"B, it's time!" I yell and hang up.

"Call the damn doctor!!" I hear. It sounded like some big ugly ass demon but then I realize it's just my girlfriend.

"Ok!" I squeak.

_Ring ring ri-_

"Hello, Doctor Janice Brands." she answer.

"Doc, it's Faith Lehane, its...uh...time." I say.

"Lehane?...oh! The sexy brunette?" she asks. I can't help but grin.

"Yeah baby, that's me." I say in a husky voice.

"FAITH!!" I snap back to reality.

"Get her to the hospital right now and I'll see you there." she says. I hang up and run back to the bedroom.

"Ok baby, we're gonna get you to the hospital now. Just stay calm." I say pickin her up. I run out the apartment and Oz is just pullin up. "Oz!" I yell. He looks at me and then Anya and he and Red get back in. We drive in silence except for Anya's wailing. Only takes us a few minutes but there's a nurse outside waitin for us.

"Faith Lehane and Anya jenkins?" she asks. I nod. She wheels Anya in.

"Faith! Faith!" she yells out reachin for my hand.

"I'm just gonna sign you in baby, I'll be right there." I say. Oz just smiles all proud like and B rushes through the door.

"Congratulations!"she says huggin me real quick. I just smile and finish up.

"Maternity room 4 ma'am." a nurse says handin me scrubs. It's here. It's really time. I'm gonna be a mom. I get in and the doctor's down there lookin around.

"How are we doin?" I ask. She glances at me and I can see a smile in her eyes.

"Fine right now." she says. "This should be a quick one." she says. "Y'kno-"

"Faith! Stop talkin to the fucking doctors and cheer me up!" Anya yells. I roll my eyes.

"Whatcha want me to do? Go grab B's cheer uniform and pom poms?" I snap.

"Dammit Faith!" she yells. I just walk up to her and smooth some wet hair outta her face.

"Really baby, don't worry. You're gonna be fine. We're gonna be fine." I say. She nods.

"Alright, on three I want you to push for the first time." the doc says. "One...two...three!!"

"AHHH!" an yells along with me cus she's squeezin my hand.

"Stop!" the doctor yells.

"Why? Why are we stopping?!" Anya panics. I just keep cooin her.

"The cord's wrapped around the first baby's neck." the doctor says. "Ok, push!" she says.

"FFFFFUUUUUCCKKKKK!" Anya yells.

"You're doin great baby." I say smilin. She smiles back at me.

"Really?" she asks. I nod. "Then why aren't these things outta me?!" she growls.

"One more big push and you're first baby will be here." the doc says.

"FFFFFAAAAAIIIIIITTTTHHHH!!" she yells. Followed by a smack and cryin.

"Here's your daughter." the doctor holds up the most beautiful little girl on the planet. "Come cut the cord?" she asks. I nod and kiss Anya's sweaty forehead. I cut the cord and smile holdin my daughter. My little girl.

"Hey Adrienne Courtney. How ya doin?" I ask softly. She stops cryin for a minute and just...calms down. "I'm your momma, that's your mommy." I say motionin towards my girl.

"Alright Faith, hand her to the nurse you got another wantin to make an appearance." doc says calmly. I move back to Anya's side.

"She's beautiful baby." I whisper. She nods and pushes.

"I can't do this! I can't!" she yells after stoppin. I nod.

"Yeah you can. Baby you doin great." I say. She shakes her head.

"No..." she trails off.

"If you don't you'll be stuck with the baby in there!" I yell. She pushes again.

"ONE MORE TIME!!" the doctor yells.

"SHIIITTTT!" Anya yells and...another slap and more cryin.

"Say hello to your son." she coos. I go cut his cord too and smile at him. I cradle him gently.

"I wanna see my babies." Anya cries. The nurse takes him from me and cleans him while another hands Anya Adrienne. She hands him back and I sit beside her and our daughter.

"Hey AC, meet your brother, Logan Jordan." I whisper. Anya just smiles happily with a teary chuckle. "I love you Anya." I say for the first and not the last time. She just smiles back.

Shortly after the babies were born everybody was moved. While Anya's sleepin, I go to get my family. I'm still wearin my scrubs though. B and Oz are the first one's up.

"Follow me guys." I say. Everybody gets in the elevator and we go up to the window where the babies are. "I want you guys to meet Adrienne and Logan Lehane." I say. Everybody just coos.

"They look so much like you!" B gushes. They do. Both have curly hair and deep dimples. But those eyes are straight up Anya.

"I know." I whisper. "They're three and a half weeks early but healthy, s'all that matters." I add.

"We are so proud of you sweetie." Mrs. Summers says.

"Mom and dad are on the way." Oz says. But I don't acknowledge them. I'm to busy starin at my kids. And I'm wonderin, are these really the last ones for me?

Ok, so this could be the last chapter or there could be another, epilogue I think you call those things. Anyway, review and lemme know


	9. Chapter 9

EPI-THING Y. 

Faith pov...10 and a half years later...

"LJ, get back here NOW!" Anya yells. I just roll my eyes. I really don't feel up to dealin with them today. I just got home from work, I'm tired, I've been dealin with people I don't like all day and I'm hungry.

"Renn did it!" he yells from down the hall. I stand still and slam the door and the entire house falls silent.

"LOGAN, ADRIENNE!" I bellow out. A few minutes later two curly heads come towards me eyes cast down.

"Yeah momma?" they ask at the same time. I kneel in front of them and ask in a softer voice...

"Did you leave the phones unplugged like I asked ya?" Lj just nods his little head happily.

"Sure did momma. But mom got mad so I had to blame Renn." he says. I nod and give him a high five.

"Good boy." I whisper with a smile. No matter how tired I am, I'm always happy to see them though.

"Hey! Don't encourage him momma! You _know _your child is an idiot." Adrienne huffs. I just smile.

"Hey, what'd I say about callin your brother names?" I ask. She rolls her eyes.

"To only do it when you and mom aren't around." she says in a bored student voice. I nod. "But I shouldn't have to hold back because he's dumber than aunt Buffy." she says. I hold back a chuckle.

"You're Aunt B aint dumb, she's gifted." I say.

"Don't encourage them!" I hear. I glance up and see Buffy standing there covered from head to toe in...

"Is that shit?" I ask. She makes a face.

"No, it's mud. Apparently you're little hell spawns thought it'd be fun to turn auntie Buffy in to a mud mermaid." she says glaring at the kids. I can't help but smile at them.

"That's wonderful. Alright, I'm payin ya two hundred bucks to keep them outta the house til tomorrow, get the hell out." I say openin the door. It's Anya's birthday and I got a big surprise for her. She and Renn scoff.

"You can't just kick us out, we live here." Renn says.

"And so do i!" B huffs. "Most of the time." she adds.

"That's nice, leave." I say. I look down at LJ and he's got his hand out. "What?" I ask.

"You haven't paid us for our services. I believe keeping silence and making sure no phone calls came in deserves payment. That'll be fifteen dollars an hour plus local and state taxes." he says.

"Oh, and surcharges and gas fees." Renn adds.

"You're total comes up to..." he thinks it over. "Three hundred five dollars and four cents." he says.

"Each." his little shit turd of a sister adds. I scoff.

"You two have apparently lost your little minds." I say sweetly. They just smile.

"MOMMY!!" they howl at the same time. My eyes widen and I pull out my credit card.

"Here, take it. Everywhere accepts American Express." I say. They smile triumphantly. "Don't over-spend." I warn. I hear them scoffing at Buffy when she says go easy.

"Please Aunt B, she's a lawyer. She can afford a couple thousand." one of em says. I can't believe it, bribed by my own kids!

"Where are you monsters? I mean children?" she asks lookin around. I just shake my head.

"Our children are with aunt Buffy." I say. She just nods like she's relieved. I hold back a quick yawn.

"Happy birthday babe." I say. She smiles brightly at me.

"Thank you. The twins said they would have my present until after you got home. Strangely, I told them they didn't have to get me one." she says with a frown. I just chuckle at her a little and lead her to a couch. Gah, I hate workin on a regular basis. "What'd you get me?"

"Uh, nothin." I say. She frowns.

"All that money you make working as the mayor's lawyer and you don't get your girlfriend a birthday gift?" she asks. "That's rather strange. Have you been spending your money on someone else? Do I need to turn them into a vampire and tie them to a tree as the sun rises?" she asks in all seriousness. I just blink.

"Big. Nothing big." I correct. She smiles and holds her hand out.

"Oh in that case let me see what it is. Is it money?" she asks. I shake my head and take a deep breath.

"Nah, not money. Just..." I swallow. "Well, all I gotcha was...was this piece of paper right here." I say handin her a piece of paper. She frowns and takes it suspiciously.

"Is this paper going to tell me I get all your money when you die?" she asks lookin it over. I don't say anything I just stare down at my hands. I've never been this nervous before. "You're pregnant." she says. I look up to gauge her reaction but she's got tears in her eyes.

"I-I'm sorry. I wasn't sure how you were gonna r-react so I just deci-" she cuts me off by kissin me.

"I'm happy Faith. I'm really happy." she says. I just smile lettin out a semi-relieved sigh.

"Good. Good." I say. She nods staring at the paper. "The doctor said it was too early for an ultra sound but I asked for one anyway." I say when she notices the final piece of paper. She smiles brightly at me.

"I'm not sure I could be happier." she whispers staring at it. I swallow hard again and face her.

"N-not even if I asked ya to be stuck with me for the rest of our lives?" I ask holdin up a box. She looks at me quickly before her eyes settle on the ring box. Her face changes to an ecstatic watery smile.

"Yes..." she says. "Yes..." she tries again. "YES!" she shrieks. I cringe and hold my ear but smile. She said yeah. She tackles me in a hug before pulling back and taking the ring. She slides it onto her finger and leans close to my stomach.

"You're going to be one happy baby." she says kissin my stomach.

"Won't be happy til momma gets some sleep. I'm sorry baby but I'm really tired." I say. She smiles in understandin.

"Go ahead. Just eat first." she says. I nod and walk outta the livin room. I stop on my way up the stairs when a thought hits me.

"WHY THE HELL ARE THEY CHARGING ME GAS CHARGES?!" I ask myself.

And there ya have it, sorta makes ya wanna go out and get drunk to end up like these two don't it? Thanks for readin folks!!


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